- Dr. Dre — Once and for all Dr. Dre, we need you to finally drop Detox. We’re tired of waiting on it and you’ve given the world hip hop blue balls! Dre drop the darn album once and for all, dude. Detox has gone from upcoming album to urban legend.
- Lil’ Wayne — Stop getting the all the fine NEW movie stars pregnant. Every time we get a fine new black actress on a feature movie, bam, Lil’ Wayne smashes them and they go into the baby momma black hole.
- Rick Ross–Kevin Hart pointed it out best on the BET Awards show–leave your shirt on, dude! It’s bad enough to see your belly out the way that it is naturally, but do you realize how the Bawse Belly looks in 1080p HD? No offense Bawse, but Stayback on the Maybach belly!
- T.I.–Mr. King of the South when you get released from prison this time, stay out of prison. The game needs you. Shawty Lo is out here starting to steal some of your limelight again. We want you to keep Shawty Lo’s whisper raps off the radio, please.
- LL Cool J— Stop denying the plastic surgery, dude. We don’t know what you did. But that smile ain’t right.
- Keyshia Cole–Just keep your family members off of television. I’m not sure if it’s natural to feel that embarrassed for another person.
- Game–Stop beefing with everybody and then going back and making friends with them again. Your beef tendacies are confusing. People think your beefing with somebody one day and the next day you’re on the radio talking about doing a track with the same person. How about beefing with yourself.
- Soulja Boy–Just learn how to rap. You have a lot of good beats with a lot of bad lyrics. We need you to work on that. You’re a hard worker but your rap skills is missing the skills part.
- Lil Kim–Stop beefing with Nicki Minaj. Let’s be honest for once, your rap career is a wrap. Nobody even wants Nicki to respond. Your beef with Nicki Minaj is like that old drunk uncle at the cook out trying to dance but can barely stand up. We just want you to sit down and return to the Hip Hop Retirement Home. We love you. You did your thing. Let it go.
- Kanye West–Go back to the old,humble Jesus loving Kanye West. Some of your music is kind of disturbing. There’s so many references to the devil in your last album it feels like a sin to listen to it. Bring back Jesus Ye!
Rod Cornelius is the Author of ‘Ghetto Eyes’ and ‘Single Again’